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We Need to Talk About ‘Indian Matchmaking’

By Sajmun Sachdev August 11, But while I was celebrating what I found to be a super authentic look into the world of matchmaking, arranged marriages and Indian family dynamics, many reviewers and tweeters made me realize that I may be the only South Asian woman who was. So seeing that representation in Indian Matchmaking made me feel proud: Finally an Indian filmmaker had accomplished what we got into this industry to do: She put us on TV.

Indian Matchmaking could never be everything to everybody and still be the success it is.

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Steven is an aging white man obsessed with marrying an Asian woman, dreaming of a devoted young wife. Sandy is the young, feisty, ambitious Chinese woman he finds online. This engaging documentary follows their tumultuous love story. For years, twice-divorced airport garage attendant Steven has been writing to numerous women through an online dating site that specializes in connecting Western men with Asian women.

At times, his pursuit seems like utter fantasy. He falls for a year-old woman across the Pacific entirely through pictures and email. When she eventually breaks his heart, he meets another Chinese woman, year-old Sandy. They become engaged, and she flies to San Francisco to marry him. Steven and Sandy negotiate cross-cultural differences huddled around Google Translate as they try to communicate despite an enormous language barrier.

While they attempt to work out the significant bumps in their relationship, filmmaker Debbie Lum finds herself becoming more than an outside observer: Steven and Sandy begin to rely heavily on Lum to bridge the large gap between their two disparate cultures. I rush over to film them — but quickly become enlisted as translator using the broken Mandarin I learned in college. Finding myself caught in the middle of their tumultuous lives, I begin to see their complicated relationship from many different angles.

Sandy comes to realize that both Steven and life in America are not as ideal as she had expected.

Indian Matchmaking: The ‘cringe-worthy’ Netflix show that is a huge hit

The Netflix hit “Indian Matchmaking” has stirred up conversations about issues like parental preference in marriage, cultural progress, casteism — and ghosting. Taparia answered questions via email from Mumbai, discussing why none of the matches worked out, her own arranged marriage and how business is booming despite the coronavirus pandemic. Sima Taparia: They are not separate things. Matchmaking is just a tool to help people find a life partner.

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How has it been for you since the show premiered? It hit me yesterday that, a week ago, no one in the world knew my name except for my friends and my family. I watched [the series] at 2 a. Why did you decide to do the show? Are you looking for your significant other? I thought it was spam. They wanted to Skype, and then the process kicked off with the casting team. I thought it might work. Why not? I thought nothing else has worked. I thought it would actually be the cutest story, if it could work.

And I was pretty sure it would work.

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However, all that could be set to change now, thanks to the launch of Project , a new matchmaking agency and brainchild of 30 year-old London legal professional, Aneeka Patel. Founded in , Project is a matchmaking and introductions agency for South Asian professionals in London between the ages of 28 and The company prides itself on offering its clients a personal involvement in the selection of suitable candidates and works with a network of carefully handpicked and approved members, all of whom are personally interviewed by certified Matchmaker, Aneeka.

Meeting the needs of this rapidly growing community who would like to enjoy a more progressive way of meeting like-minded individuals for a potential lasting relationship, was the key challenge for Aneeka. And yes, it can make certain people feel complete.

Over the show’s eight episodes, viewers get a glimpse into the centuries-old South Asian tradition through a variety of modern young men and.

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Waiting For the ‘Robotic Shuttle’ of South Asian Representation

Matchmaking is the process of matching two or more people together, usually for the purpose of marriage , but the word is also used in the context of sporting events such as boxing, in business, in online video games and in pairing organ donors. In some cultures, the role of the matchmaker was and is quite professionalised. The Ashkenazi Jewish shadchan , or the Hindu astrologer , were often thought to be essential advisors and also helped in finding right spouses as they had links and a relation of good faith with the families.

In cultures where arranged marriages were the rule, the astrologer often claimed that the stars sanctified matches that both parents approved of, making it quite difficult for the possibly-hesitant children to easily object — and also making it easy for the astrologer to collect his fee. Social dance , especially in frontier North America, the contra dance and square dance , has also been employed in matchmaking, usually informally. However, when farming families were widely separated and kept all children on the farm working, marriage-age children could often only meet in church or in such mandated social events.

series Indian Matchmaking premiered on Netflix, conversations about what the reality dating show does or doesn’t mean for the South Asian.

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Confrontation and compromise: middle-class matchmaking in twenty-first century South India

Five years ago, I met with a matchmaker. I went in scornful. Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited her lengthy questionnaire, I grasped, if just for a beat, why people did things this way.

Confrontation and compromise: middle-class matchmaking in twenty-first century South India From: Asian Ethnology(Vol. 72, Issue 1). Publisher: Nanzan.

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We understand the lifestyle that you lead. PMG help you to connect eligible men and women around the globe. We have the resources to make matches all over the world. You will only be introduced to someone who has the potential to be a lifetime partner to you, as identified by our screening process. We only make introductions for those people whom we have met, interviewed and therefore understood the elements which they look for in a partner. Personal values, family background, intelligence, lifestyle and personality are the key elements for compatibility.

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Indian Matchmaking: Netflix’s ‘divisive’ dating show causes storm

Her passive-aggressiveness aside, the looks of quiet judgement have made her a meme star and the series a hit. Most Pakistanis are familiar with the trolley routine where a girl brings tea for a prospective groom and his family, but that is not what happens on this show. Instead, the couples are shown bio-datas and asked to go on dates at restaurants and other public places to see if there is enough connection to take the matter further.

Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited.

All the emotions of that time came rushing back while she watched Netflix’s newest ‘dating show’: Indian Matchmaking. The reality show about a high-flying Indian matchmaker named Sima Taparia has spawned thousands of articles, social media takes, critiques and memes. More importantly, it’s inspired real-life conversations about what it means to be a young South Asian person trying to navigate marriage, love — and yes, parental expectations. Many young South Asian Australians told ABC Life they’ve seen aspects of their real lives being played out in the show, but that of course, one reality program could never capture the myriad experiences of people across many communities, language groups, religions, genders, sexualities, traditions and castes of the subcontinental region.

Some have given up on the tradition by choosing a partner through Western dating, while others have modernised it and made it work for them. A common thread among all was the question: “How do I keep my parents happy while also doing what I need for myself? For Manimekalai, the force of tradition and expectation from her family to agree to the marriage was strong. The first time her parents started approaching their extended family and friend networks to find a prospective groom, they didn’t even inform her.

Surprise, we got you a husband! Then Manimekalai and her dad went to meet a prospective guy overseas. Even though there were many signs she shouldn’t proceed, both parties had so much pride invested in the marriage being a success that she agreed to it. Melbourne-based policy adviser Priya Serrao is 28 and currently dating a non-Indian man. She says her parents have slowly come around to trusting her to make a choice that’s right for her.

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